The other day I found myself thinking about the 189 days I spent in Tampa while my husband, Ted, was receiving treatment at Moffitt Cancer Center.
Each day I spent 14 to 16 hours at the hospital before returning to my hotel late at night. The parking garage was enormous, and I was rarely able to park in the same place twice.
Yet something remarkable happened.
Night after night, despite being emotionally and physically exhausted, I never forgot where I had parked my car.
That experience taught me something I have never forgotten.
Our minds are far more powerful than we often give them credit for.
Years later, while visiting a friend in San Diego, I was talking about several frustrations in my life. She listened patiently and then said something that completely changed my thinking.
"Lynette, I hear everything you don't want in your life, but I don't hear what you do want."
Then she asked one simple question.
"What do you want?"
I was stunned.
I had never really considered that question. I had become so focused on identifying problems that I had never intentionally defined the life I wanted to create.
That conversation became one of those beautiful "God winks" that quietly changes the direction of my life.
From that day forward, my questions changed.
Instead of asking, "Why is this happening to me?" I began asking, "What do I want to create?" The shift moved me from thinking like a victim of circumstances to becoming an active participant in shaping my future.
Today I spend time with many wonderful senior adults—including myself—and I often hear the same pattern I once lived.
People talk about declining health, slowing down, poor memory, loneliness, aging, and dying.
Those conversations matter because our attention influences where our energy goes.
What if, instead, we began asking different questions?
What kind of life do I want to live?
How healthy do I want to become?
How can I strengthen my mind, body, and spirit?
What relationships do I want to cultivate?
How can I continue growing regardless of my age?
Perhaps living to 100 isn't the point.
Perhaps living fully today is.
I made another decision many years ago.
I decided I no longer wanted to live as a victim of circumstances or allow someone else's behavior to dictate my peace of mind.
When I felt myself becoming defensive, I learned to pause before reacting.
Instead of defending myself, I often asked a question.
"Why do you ask that?"
"What makes you think that?"
"Can you help me understand what you mean?"
Questions create space where reactions once lived.
As we age, our bodies require more intentional care than they once did. We hear countless opinions about anti-aging, diets, supplements, and miracle solutions. Yet many of the answers begin with simple choices: moving our bodies, drinking enough water, eating sufficient protein, getting quality sleep, and paying attention to what our own bodies are telling us.
Over the years I began looking at life through seven important areas:
- Mental
- Physical
- Social
- Family
- Career or Purpose
- Financial
- Spiritual
When I honestly evaluated these areas, I discovered some had been nurtured while others had simply been left to chance.
That realization changed everything.
Today I believe one of the greatest gifts we receive as we grow older is the freedom to become more intentional.
So let me leave you with the same question my friend asked me many years ago.
What do you want?
Not what you don't want.
What do you want?
Write it down.
As life unfolds, you'll probably discover things you forgot to include. I certainly did. Every time I became clearer, I refined my vision.
Life is a journey of learning.
Clarity grows as we grow.
Sometimes the most powerful thing we can remember... is to ask ourselves the right question.
